Lose what you have but not your Family

Charity begins at home, so the old saying goes. Anything has to start at home. Before one does good to outsiders, one must start it at home or in the family. The family is a base or a platform for anybody to blossom and make it big. We all have heard of cases where some people are said to have a lot of problems in their lives because they never had blessings from their families. Everyone needs a family. I believe that the most horrible thing in life is to have no family. One can have all things in the world but happiness will never come if the person does not have a family. If we have a family, it gives us a feeling of belonging. We feel that we are not alone. The loneliest people are the ones without a family. The happiest people most of the times comes from good and healthy families. The importance of having a good and healthy family needs not to be overemphasized. It’s an inborn thing. It’s just natural.

A husband who has a nagging wife is more likely to lose his efficiency in whatever he does. This may result in him coming home very late, cheating and some start to use drugs just to avoid the nagging of the wife. All of this will boil down to the kids. They will not have time with their dad because the dad is always on the run. In the same vein, a lying husband loses the respect of his wife and forces the wife not to obey him. The husband who is never at home, who gives his first priority to his work, career, friends or whatever keeps him busy is worse than anything else. When this starts, one thing is for sure, the house will become complete chaos. The wife will cheat on him, she will choose to spend time with her friends and the kids will have nobody to be with.

This is also true to parents who are ever busy advancing their careers, spends a lot of time at work may be to make extra money or to impress the boss so that they keep a job. Some like socializing with friends and the kids are always at the receiving end. Parents who do not spend time with their kids are bound to have a disjointed family, unruly kids, and most undeniably dull kids. A single-handed mother has to combine two responsibilities of being a mother and to fill the gap of a father. Let us face it, women no matter how good they can be they can not be a perfect substitute for a father. She is incapable of being a complete father to the kids. This gives her the pressure to give a balanced relation to the kids. She is supposed to have a fatherly role and at the same time to discharge her duties as a mother. The same is true for the husbands who raise the children all by themselves. They combine the two contrasting roles of being a father and a mother. No matter how the bad the mother can be but fathers will never fill the gap the mother leaves. The relationship between children and mothers differs from the relationship they have with their fathers. Some children tend to love their mother more than they love their father but this does not mean that they do not need the father. So is true if they love the father more than their mom.

Mothers provide most of the times emotional support and skills to the kids and fathers would provide guidance, knowledge, discipline, and skills to their children. If a father can fit perfectly into a motherly role why then do have women around and vice-versa. For children to grow well into good and reliable citizens, they need all parents to be there for them. Most children who come from separated and divorced families have mental and psychological problems than the ones coming from families with both parents. Some have the bad feeling that they are not loved or needed and this leads to withdrawing from social groups, family gatherings and even in school groups. In short, I would say this kind of environment is not conducive to good child development.

I remember listening to one child who stays with his father saying that his dad is everything to him but still he feels that something is missing and that is the mother's love, passion, and care. He said he misses his mom even though his dad is around. These kinds of sentiments can be shared by many children who are staying with one parent only. It’s a burden to children only that they might not say anything but it hurts inside. Some grow up without knowing what it means to be a good dad or a mother because they never learn from them. They might turn out to be very bad parents not because they are but they never learn or saw what it means to be a good parent because theirs were not there to teach them. So this goes to all mothers and fathers who are either not there for their children or they are thinking of leaving the house.

Honestly speaking, hate or disagree with me but every parent who does this is one hell, crazy, selfish person who thinks of him or herself and not the children. Some of you who are doing this or maybe you’re thinking about doing it please know it that you need to make sacrifices for your children. Being a good parent does not mean spoiling the kids with all kind of presents, gifts, and money. What they need most are our presence and time. Set aside a little time for your kids. What is better to make other people happy and be a big disappointment and wimp to your family? You always have the confidence to face the world and challenges out there if everything is fine at home.

“Mom, dad, we miss you when you are not around. We need you to be there for us. You’re our security, shelter, joy, and confidence.” (This is the message from all children from the whole world to parents